Week 6

I worked in several different groups in different classes when I was getting my Bachelor's degree. I also have been a part of some small group discussions during trainings. The one that was the hardest to leave was my one class in college where we were a part of the group for the entire class. Almost every assignment was done as a group so we had a lot of time to get to know each other and became close. Luckily, many of these people were in the same degree program so we would still have classes together, but it was not the same as when we were working together. I can still remember one group session at a training that I was so thankful when it was over. We were split up into small groups at a training where we had to discuss and review our literature to answer some questions and then we would share with the whole group. We had one member who felt she had to disagree on every point and was very rude in her disagreements. By the end we had to just override all of her disagreements and write down what the rest of the group agreed on just in order to finish our task to share with the whole group at the the training. While we were sharing our answers she would yell out what she thought it should be. It was very embarrassing and frustrating. We could have had good discussions and learned from each other's different views and perspectives, but she was not willing to listen to other viewpoints and her manner of insisting that she was right made it difficult to listen. 

I do not think I have ever had any closing rituals in any of the groups that I was in and I am not even sure what I would consider for a closing ritual.

I think adjourning is an important stage of teamwork because it brings a closure to the group and helps to show an accomplishment. The adjourning stage from my group in my college class was when we received our final grade. This helped us see our work together had meaning and was productive. The adjourning phase for the other group during the training session was when we shared our answers for the rest of the group. It provided an ending to the discussion and allowed us to move on to the next part of the training. 

Week 5

I had an issue with a supervisor who had recently started at the center. Within her first week she had given us a list of things she wanted changed in our classroom because she said they would not pass ECCER-S even though the classroom had just passed the year before with the exact same set-up. There was no discussion involved and she did not receive our input before she gave us the list and told us we had a week to fix everything. My co-teacher and I tried to discuss the issues and explain our reasoning why we did not feel anything needed to be changed especially since there was only a month left in the school year. We were told that she was the supervisor and we were being insubordinate by questioning. I should have used the NVC skills to help me through the situation by not taking it personally. I felt that by her saying the classroom was wrong she was questioning mine and my co-teacher's abilities. I let my annoyance and frustration with this situation affect my interactions with her in the future and I never built a relationship with her. Without this relationship there was never a sense of working together and I continued to feel that any issues were a personal attack. I chose to leave this center because I always felt there was conflict. Looking back, I should have worked harder to communicate. 

Has anyone else had an issue with a supervisor? Were you able to resolve these conflicts and if so what skills did you use to accomplish this.

Week 4

My score for communication anxiety was higher than the scores from the two people who evaluated me. This one surprised me because I get very nervous talking in front of groups and leading presentations. Once I start talking I am usually able to relax, but before I always feel sick. I thought this was obvious. However one of the evaluators is a person who observes me leading presentations so I was shocked that she doesn't notice how nervous I really am. My verbal aggressiveness was very close to one evaluator and higher than another and my listening style was exactly the same as both evaluators. 

I learned through the discussion post this week how easy it is to make assumptions based on appearance. There is no way to know a person exactly just by looking at them, yet we use previous knowledge and stereotypes to form judgments. I think it is part of human nature to do this, yet we must not allow these assumptions to affect our communication. We have to be able to look beyond our first impression to learn more about people.

I also learned that we can be harder evaluators on ourselves. When I was discussing the results with a person I was surprised that they were unaware of my anxiety when talking in front of groups and she said I always appear relaxed and confident and am an excellent presenter. I thought it always showed, yet apparently not. I am not sure I will ever be able to completely relax before talking in front of people, yet it helps to know that people think I am a good presenter.   

Week 3

I definitely communicate differently with people from different groups. The way I talk to my friends is completely different than how I speak and what I talk about with my dad and my grandparents. Also the topics that I talk about vary depending on who I am talking with. My friends that have kids we talk a lot about topics regarding the stages our children are in and our conversations are more family oriented. I have a few friends from high school and college that do not have children so I do not talk to them as much about my kids. Our conversations are usually about their jobs or the parties that they have been to because that is definitely not a part of my life much anymore so I like to say I am living through them. I think it also depends on the setting because I have many friends from church and our conversations do slightly differ when we are talking at church rather than at a house where we are more comfortable and can share more. If I do not know someone I almost have to force myself to talk to them because I am so shy and I do not always know what to say. 

Even though I do not have much interaction with people from different cultures, I know I do act differently mainly because I am nervous and unsure of how to act. I once met a family from Burma and their accent was really hard to understand. I know I did act as appropriately as I should have because it was hard to understand them and I was worried about offending them by saying or doing something wrong. I know my nervousness made the situation more uncomfortable. 


I need to work on moving out of my comfort zone and build relationships with people who are from different groups with different hobbies and different cultures. In these cases I can ask questions to find some similarities, but also embrace the differences because we can learn from each other. This class is showing me how important communication is with others to grow as a person.

Watching a television show-Week 2

The book talked about the show The Big Bang Theory a few times and I have never seen it so I chose that show. I watched the first episode. 

At first I honestly could not tell what the relationship was between the two main characters, Leonard and Sheldon. When I saw they lived together I thought they might be a couple. Though when I watched their nonverbal language when they first met Penny, I started to question if they were gay because they both acted nervous. After I watched it with sound I realized they were just friends. It was interesting to see Sheldon's behavior when Penny sat on the couch when there was no sound. At first I thought he was acting so weird because she was staying and he was nervous having a girl there or scared to sit next to her. Once I watched it with sound I realized it was all because she sat in what he considered to be his spot. When Raj met Penny it was very obvious he was nervous around girls. His whole body seemed to tense and his mouth just seemed to glued shut. I could also tell that Howard was trying to hit on Penny though I thought she might be reciprocating the feelings because when they were riding in a car sitting beside each other she was smiling really big. Even after watching it with sound it was hard to tell how she was feeling because she never actually brushed him off, but I do not think she was feeling the same towards him. At one point, Penny's ex-boyfriend was in the episode, but I could not figure out who he was until I watched it with sound. He was in one scene and based off of something Leonard and Sheldon said to him, he took their pants. This part was very confusing until I watched it with sound. 

It was really hard watching the show with no sound. I did not know who the people were or really have any idea what was going on. Without the sound I did have to focus more on body language and facial expressions so I did have to watch more closely than I normally do when I watch television. I hardly ever watch tv, but when I do I am usually trying to do other things at the same time. When I watched the show the second time with sound, I found I paid attention more because I was so curious about what had actually happened in the scenes. If this had been a show I normally watched it would have been much easier because I would have known who the people were and what they were probably saying to each other. I definitely realized that we can not make judgments based on nonverbal cues alone and I have a whole new appreciation of being able to hear.

Week 1

My brother is a very effective communicator in daily life. He is always very at ease in any situation and with any person. He is able to talk to anyone he meets. His profession is a salesman so this ability helps him. I would like to model some of my own communication behaviors after him because I am a naturally shy person and I do not always feel comfortable talking to new people. It is sometimes hard when meeting new families building that relationship because I struggle to communicate and connect. I wish I had more of his confidence and ability to strike up conversations with everyone. 

Professional Hopes and Goals

I hope that I am able to be an example for colleagues as I work with children and families from diverse backgrounds and also to the children and families themselves. This class has given me so much information and knowledge and so many new perspectives to issues that I can hopefully pass on. I hope to use this information to provide a more respectful and culturally rich learning environment for children.

One goal for the early childhood field would be to require more diversity training for staff members. I do not think I have ever had diversity training before or at least not more than a brief hour at the beginning of the school year. Yet, in this class there were so many concepts such as microaggressions and the many different -isms that I had never heard about before that have a major impact on working with children and families from diverse backgrounds. These can also impact relationships with coworkers. I think training is very important for the staff members to provide the best anti-bias and respectful environment for children.

I want to thank all my classmates for sharing each week discussions and blog posts. This class showed me how diverse we all are and no matter if we are the same gender or race we are still culturally diverse and unique in our experiences and perspectives. Each week I have been able to think about each topic from different angles due to the fact that everyone has been so willing to be open and share. It has really helped enhance the topics and I am so grateful for everything I have learned. 

Welcoming Families From Around the World

I am working in an early childcare center and just received word that a young girl will be joining my class who just emigrated from Somalia. There are many ways our country differs from Somalia so I will need to prepare myself and my classroom for the arrival.

• The majority of people in Somalia are Muslim. We will need to add in celebrations for Muslim holidays and also ensure we do not focus only on Christian holidays.
• Muslims do not eat pork so we will have to ensure the cook is aware and make accommodations if any meal has pork in it. They may also be issues with the fact that the food prepared will not be halal so we will have to discuss this issue with the family prior. The type of food and seasonings we use will differ greatly so we will have to remember she may not eat that much at school. We can discuss with the families popular meals they had in Somalia to see if we could add a few into the menu at school.
• The mother will probably wear a Hijab and there is a possibility that little girl will as well so I will talk to the other children in the class to explain to them what it is and why she will wear it beforehand.
• I will have to remember to not initiate shaking hands with the father as contact between the opposite sex is considered obscene.
• We will need to check with the family to see if we are allowed to take pictures of the little girl.
• I will add their language to labels in the classroom and make flashcards with common phrases to better communicate with the parents and the child. 

It was very interesting to learn about another country. Once I learned about the country, I then had to also learn about religious customs as most people from that country are a different religion than I am. Hopefully, with all this information I can ensure the family feels respected. I also want the child to get a good impression of school that will hopefully stay with her. This preparation showed me that there is a lot of information out there about Somalia and Muslim culture and beliefs, but there is no way to learn it all and it may depend on the family's preference. It will be important to discuss with the family any concerns or issues they may have and develop a good relationship so they feel comfortable coming to me in the event something comes up throughout the year.

http://wikitravel.org/en/Somalia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halal

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_Somalia

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

The situation that came to mind is not a specific one-time incident, but one that has played out through several conversations and over a period of time. My husband's parents divorced around two years ago and within a few months, they were both dating other people seriously. Both people are actually the same age and are only two years older than my husband. Family members have had very interesting opinions on the fact that both my mother-in-law and father-in-law are dating people 12-14 years younger than them and the opinions have been very sexist and definitely not equal. They call my father-in-law's girlfriend a golddigger, even though she does have her own job, but they congratulate him for getting a younger woman. They call my mother-in-law a cougar and make fun of the fact that her boyfriend is so much younger. Even though her boyfriend does not have a job and is completely supported by my mother-in-law, they do not call him a golddigger.

My and I both feel uncomfortable around both of them mainly because they are so close in age to us. It just seems weird to date someone with such a huge age gap. However, we are both of the opinion that it is not our life so not our choice. Saying this and actually feeling it are two different things, but I am a little more understanding after this class. I think my feelings are based more on my personal opinion of what is an appropriate age gap especially for those who are older. 

I see now how my opinions and family members' reactions are related to sexism and even ageism. It seems it is ok for an older man to date a much younger women, but the woman is probably in it for financial reasons and it is not ok for a woman to date a much younger man. These opinions do have an impact on family members' interactions with each of their significant. It does make me wonder why we have these differences in wording for men and women who date someone much younger. I think in this situation for there to be greater equity, society would have to change the negative views on women dating much older men and women dating much younger men. Everyone needs to be more accepting and less apt to jump to assumptions about why two people are together.  

EDUC-6164 Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

There was one instance when I was the target of a microaggression that stands out to me. I was at Wal-Mart and used my credit card to pay. We live in a major military area so most people get paid at the same time. The cashier said to me "it is amazing how many more people use their credit cards the further we get away from pay day". It took me a minute to understand exactly what she was trying to imply and then I felt humiliated because I felt I was being judged about how I was paying. The cashier was insinuating that I had to use my credit cards because I did not have money in checking to pay. There were two other people in line behind me who heard. I was shocked that someone would say that. Though I dismissed it from my mind a few days later, thinking about it again brought up the feelings of being annoyed and ashamed. 

Unfortunately between my kids and myself we have been sick with colds all week so we have not left the house.While I was not able to do any observations this week, I thought about times when I have seen people make facial expressions towards others at stores or you see them make comments under their breath. The causes of these are varied from someone's appearance, behavior of kids, and even abilities. I always feel bad when people make sighing noises as they try to rush around an elderly person or glare at the parent with the screaming kid. Though when I honestly think about, I do not believe the cashier meant to be insulting. I think this is one of those times that a comment comes out differently than we intended or even just not realizing how someone else could take it. I also do not think many people consciously make these facial expressions and noises and really understand the affect it can have on the person. I think before we can get mad at someone else for these microaggressions we must also take responsibility for our responses. Without this class I would not have the understanding about microaggressions that I do now so it is safe to assume most people do not either. Maybe the next time we hear or see someone we need to explain to them how their actions are hurtful and help educate others.

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture- EDUC 6164

I talked to my sister, Jessica, who is a high school English teacher in Columbus, Ohio. She has worked at the school for ten years and when she started there was very little diversity and most of the kids were white and lived in the country. However, through the years as the district has changed they have gotten more kids of different races and they now have kids from over 50 different countries. She said in the beginning there was a lot of tension and fighting, but now the kids have adjusted and are more accepting. So her definition of diversity is her school. It is all different races and religion and values all being together and accepting of one another. Her definition of culture is everything that makes up a person.

I talked to a friend, Katie, who seven years ago adopted four children from Mexico. They are a white couple who already had two kids and adopted three girls and a boy ranging in age from 6 to 16. She said her definition of culture is what you decide it is. The older kids have more memories of Mexico and have chosen to keep some traditions, but have let others go. The younger two have said that is not their home anymore so why would they keep doing what they did there. She thinks each kid will continue to choose exactly what their culture will be. Her definition of diversity was knowing each person is different, but not having to verbalize it. There have been many times people have said "you must have adopted them" or "those can't be your kids, they are Mexican". She said these are very hurtful statements and she doesn't know why people have to state the obvious. 

I talked to a previous coworker, Lisa, whose ethnic background is Jamaican however she is very light skinned. She said she has been mistaken for Mexican or ask how she can be black when she is so white. She grew up in inner city Philadelphia and most of her school was African-American, but she said she never felt like she fit with any group. She said her definition of culture is our traditions. To her diversity is being aware that people come from all different backgrounds. Don't assume that the black person is from Africa or various stereotypes about different countries.   

Each person included parts about the definition of culture that we have learned in this class. Culture is everything about us. It is influenced by our childhood and our ethnic background and gender, but it is also influenced by our current experiences. Katie said culture is what we decide. She has seen her adopted children choose parts of their Mexican culture to keep, but also are integrating into the American culture. What was not included was how culture is also our lifestyle and gestures and parenting styles. When talking to other people about their definitions I realized how much our own experiences shapes our thinking and our definitions. 

My family culture-EDUC 6164

• The first thing I would take is my memory book of my Mom. My sister made it for us last year for Christmas and it is a picture book of all the pictures we used on the slideshow at her funeral. It has pictures through the years of my mom and many family pictures. This is important to me to be able to remember my mom and also other family members.
• I would take my recipe box. It has all my favorite recipes that I cook frequently including many that I have found on pinterest. It also has the recipes that have been passed down from my grandma and my mom and recipes that were given to me by other family members at my bridal shower. This is important to me because these are family recipes. There are a few that any time my siblings and I get together we still always have to make. These are also things that represent my culture and the type of food we enjoy.
• I would also take my camera. I love taking pictures and catching moments in time. I want my kids to be able to have pictures to look back on to remember.

If I had to give up two after arriving it would be very difficult, yet I would choose my memory book. The recipes I can always attempt and hopefully write down from memory a few and the camera I can hopefully get another, but I can never replace the pictures. 

This was actually pretty hard to decide. I walked around my house a few times because there are so many things that are meaningful to me, yet I also was trying to think of things that would represent my culture. I think these three do because the pictures show some past history especially in some with clothing and even some technology (there is a picture of my mom on a computer in the early 90s-it is huge). The recipes are an example of the types of food we eat because not every country eats the same food or cooks the same as we do. The camera represents the importance of pictures and I wonder how many other countries do not have access to cameras. 

I am excited to read other people's items and what they choose to represent their culture. I think there is going to be so much diversity because just like our social identities are different what we value enough to choose will also be different.