There was one instance when I was the target of a microaggression that stands out to me. I was at Wal-Mart and used my credit card to pay. We live in a major military area so most people get paid at the same time. The cashier said to me "it is amazing how many more people use their credit cards the further we get away from pay day". It took me a minute to understand exactly what she was trying to imply and then I felt humiliated because I felt I was being judged about how I was paying. The cashier was insinuating that I had to use my credit cards because I did not have money in checking to pay. There were two other people in line behind me who heard. I was shocked that someone would say that. Though I dismissed it from my mind a few days later, thinking about it again brought up the feelings of being annoyed and ashamed.
Unfortunately between my kids and myself we have been sick with colds all week so we have not left the house.While I was not able to do any observations this week, I thought about times when I have seen people make facial expressions towards others at stores or you see them make comments under their breath. The causes of these are varied from someone's appearance, behavior of kids, and even abilities. I always feel bad when people make sighing noises as they try to rush around an elderly person or glare at the parent with the screaming kid. Though when I honestly think about, I do not believe the cashier meant to be insulting. I think this is one of those times that a comment comes out differently than we intended or even just not realizing how someone else could take it. I also do not think many people consciously make these facial expressions and noises and really understand the affect it can have on the person. I think before we can get mad at someone else for these microaggressions we must also take responsibility for our responses. Without this class I would not have the understanding about microaggressions that I do now so it is safe to assume most people do not either. Maybe the next time we hear or see someone we need to explain to them how their actions are hurtful and help educate others.
Jennie, I so agree that most people are not aware of the term micro aggressions and what they mean and damage they can cause. I am sure that now I will hear a micro insult or invalidation and be shocked at who said it and if they meant to hurt with the comment. Yes education is a wonderful thing even for us as adults.
ReplyDeleteJennie,
ReplyDeleteI didn't think about the facial expressions and actions of people until you pointed that out. It reminded me of a comment my mom said to me that haunted me when my oldest daughter became a beautiful adult woman. My mom said that when older women are with young pretty women they get ignored, something she became very aware of when I grew up and we shopped together. Years later, I was in Target and asked the salesman some questions about ipods, and he looked past me and answered the questions to my daughter as if she had said them. It was so obvious that my daughter and I were both uncomfortable. I had asked two questions, and even though my daughter was looking down at the products during the second question, he still answered to her. It happened other times, too, but that was the first blatant incident. We laugh about it, but it hurt me deeply and I will never forget the feeling.